I have just got back from the Travel Doctors with not so much a sore arm but more a bruised credit card, I had to get a Hep booster, Yellow Fever and Typhoid, this is my second trip to the travel doctor and both were very similar.
For a start they tend to scare the shit out of me with all their talk of catching every disease known to mankind, I can’t help but think that I’m going to turn up in South America and there will be no one there, the streets will be empty except for those lying dead on the side of the road from last nights mosquito attack.
The last time I had to go to see the Travel Doc I was heading to Peru and had never really heard of things like Yellow Fever, and diarrhoea was something you get from eating a bad curry, how wrong can one man be? after she had finished telling me all the perils of travelling, I was having second thoughts it seems everything wants me dead, I had visions of wild monkeys with packs of dogs at their command flanked by a swarm of mosquitoes all hunting me, chasing me down the street trying to bite me and forcing me to eat washed lettuce and if that wasn’t going to do it, out comes the secret weapon! (the head monkey approaches parting the gathered crowd he’s holding something, I can’t quite make it out it’s it’s NOOOOO!! it’s a tray of ice cubes made from tap water) what could I possibly have done to endure an evil such as this? after forcing me to eat the cubes they move on to thier next victim and I’m left there on the road with at the very least the worst case of shits known to mankind..
But alas nothing, didn’t even see a damn monkey and all the dogs were on the rooftops, so no rabies no poisoned ice cubes nothing, but don’t get me wrong I am more than happy about the fact I wasn’t mauled by the wildlife, and that I could enjoy a cube or two in my drink of choice, although a little disappointed about not seeing any monkeys but that was due largely to the fact that there are no monkeys in Peru, or so I think.
I guess, just like everything else it’s better to be prepared for the worst and hope for the best or something along those lines, end of the day I’ll take the jabs I need to ensure I get through the borders and the rest I’ll have to judge when I’m there, because lets face it if I try and prepare myself for every danger I’m going to face travelling through South America, Central America, Mexico and the psychotic state of California there is no injection the world has ever seen that could save me from all the possible scenarios, what I need is something better, bigger and stronger, something that’ll save me no matter what the situation, what I need is Batman! Now there’s something I can depend on, If I took the $300 that the Doc got from me today and spent it making that sign that lights up the sky with the Bat Signal, then my friends I would be sorted.
Obviously I would want nothing more than to finish my trip in one years time without so much as a grazed knee but I somehow doubt it, could be the cynic in me I’m not sure but I get the feeling that in 12 months something bad will happen, I might have my bag stolen I might get mugged I might get sick, these are things that could happen, these are all possibilities, the only certain thing that will happen is that I will have have the time of my life, everyday I will experience something new, meet someone new, make a decision that could possibly change my life forever, for 12 months I am free to choose my own path, in one’s life what could be more important than that.. I am willing to take the risk.
